Breakdown Breakthrough

Breakdown breakthrough — have you ever had one of these moments? It’s like you have to completely admit defeat to move forward.

A few weeks ago I missed work three days in a row. My mental health had taken a big hit over on-the-job stressors. I wasn’t suicidal or anything but I was ready to throw in the towel and quit my job. 

In a breakdown breakthrough, you’re ready to give up and you bottom out before somehow regaining your steam. Some call it the “come to Jesus” moment but we all know I’m not a big fan of Jesus. 

On a lighter note, it’s that magical time when a simple pop song can take on a deeper meaning — maybe even become a temporary theme song to your life. It’s just the two little minutes of energy you need to push through the day and conquer the world.

Lizzo’s “Good as Hell” seemed to fit the bill for me. I listened to it every morning.

But we know this experience is more than that.

My breakdown breakthrough moment seemed to go through three stages:

  1. I need a break.
  2. What very basic things do I need to get through today?
  3. How about the bigger picture? What’s important? Where do I go from here?

You would think this would be a period of ample sleep, but I didn’t sleep any more or any less than normal. My mind was on overdrive as I was trying to figure out my next steps.

The next week I came out the other side and crushed it at work. It was great. I knew what I wanted and worked my butt off.

The breakdown breakthrough burst of motivation is enough to pull yourself from the trenches but is it enough to keep you going? Sometimes admitting defeat is also acknowledging the obstacles that lay ahead. 

A few weeks have past and the high of my breakdown breakthrough moment has worn off, yet I still seem to have retained a positive outlook. I’m pretty sure everything is going to work out.

These painful moments of release are necessary for growth but an absolute relief to see in the rearview mirror.

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