A couple of months ago while writing for Healthy Place, I wrote an article about the abuse I experienced at work. After publishing the article, I was diagnosed with PTSD and started treatment to cope with my symptoms. I wanted to write an update but quit my job at Healthy Place before I got a chance.
So I’m going to post an update here on my own blog. Here is a link to the original article.
I made an appointment with my psychiatrist. Since I take medication for schizoaffective disorder, I already see a psychiatrist on a routine basis. However, I called to see him sooner due to elevated anxiety and depression – things I assumed were related to my schizoaffective disorder.
When he asked about recent stressors I explained the abusive situation and he said I was showing signs of trauma – something I hadn’t considered. Was it really bad enough to be called that?
It really was.
I knew I needed counseling but I put it off for a few weeks. It was so hard to finally make that phone call and schedule an appointment but I’m really glad I did.
I’m going on about a month and a half in weekly therapy sessions, and in general, I am feeling better – or at least more in control. Some days I’m fine and some are more difficult.
I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. Anxiety, depression, hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts – apparently my symptoms are pretty textbook.
I’m also learning about trauma triggers. Considering this abuse occurred at work and I’m still working at the same place, it’s hard to avoid triggers. I am doing my best and have no plans on leaving my job.
Unfortunately, I will never be the same.
This experience has hardened me. I used to be so optimistic and think there was a little good in everyone. That no longer applies. I know now that there are some people you just need to stay away from.
One of the most difficult parts of this whole experience is dealing with the few people in my life that are dismissive of my symptoms, but my drive for recovery is restored each week when I receive appropriate validation in my therapy sessions.
I just want to move forward but sometimes my anger holds me back. Regardless of that, I am hopeful. I know with time I will get through this. I’m usually a person who looks to the future, but right now, I’m living day by day.